Most salespeople are taught about relationship-building strategies. Top performers do something different. In this in-sights episode, Lance Tyson breaks down why rapport, not relationships, is the real driver of trust, momentum, and decisions in modern sales. You don’t need to like every buyer (or be liked by them) to win deals – you need relevance, credibility, and alignment. This episode challenges one of sales’ most common myths and offers a more practical, scalable way to connect with buyers without forcing chemistry.
👉If you’re looking to elevate your selling strategy, shift your perspective, and compete where the decision actually happens, this episode is a must-listen.
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🎧 Tune in as Lance shares the mindset, behaviors, and tactics that separate average reps from elite performers.
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In-Sights: You Don’t Need To Like Your Buyers To Win The Deal
Why Relationship-Building Is Overrated In Sales
Here’s what’s interesting about reports. Let’s pull that apart. First of all, you won’t hear this from me. I don’t think you have to like everybody. It’s impossible to like everybody. It’s hard. However, you should appear that you can establish rapport with somebody. You should treat them with this decency that they deserve. Did you folks have small talk with people like when you go in? It’s like a little small talk in some of your meeting. That’s expected in America. That’s what we do in America. That’s a very American thing. It’s not a world thing. Anybody here ever do business in Southeast Asia? Go ask the Japanese some personal questions about themself.
We do a lot of business with Tier 2 Japanese automakers in Dublin, Ohio, because they have big Honda plants there. We’ve done training in the years to try to help them understand American business and we start with pleasantries. It’s just awkward. You can just see them very uncomfortable. It’s not what they do. South Africans hate the personal questions. If anybody you know from South Africa, it’s a very German-based business culture. They don’t even have a lot of personal effects in their offices.
Do Not Be Confused With People’s Positive Approach
You get to the Canada, US, Mexico, and a little bit South America. You have the pleasantry effect. A little bit of Western Europe, but you get to Eastern Europe and it’s not a thing. It’s not thing in Germany. It’s uncomfortable. You didn’t even get anything done. You just had pleasure. We all have that problem a little bit. We don’t get anything done. I would write this down, don’t confuse people’s good human relation principles for liking you.
I always get the question of like, “How much pleasantries should I have? How long should I do it?” The question is I would ask yourself one question and be in the moment. I’d be seen if you were reciprocating to me. If it’s not a reciprocation, move because Northeast pleasantries is different than Midwest pleasantries. We have a bunch of companies who do business with Minnesota. They call it Minnesota Nice.
when I first moved to Ohio and Indiana from Philly. My brother and I were like, “This is going to be so easy. It’s like shooting fish in a barrel out here. Everybody’s so nice.” There is something killing with kindness. They stall the sale was kindness like it had never happened. You’re getting invited to their church and a free breakfast. All this stuff and never do business with you free lunches. There’s something to that. You got to be like, “I’d come rather sell in the Northeast a little bit because people are a little shorter with you.” You’re like, “Can you get to it?” I like that a little bit.
You got to read that. That’s not an overplay. You literally have to read that out because that’s not even first. If you go down the credibility, rapport yields level of influence. It’s a like ability factor. I didn’t say like. I said likeability factor. If you go back to our meeting, every time we met with you, we said something, “How much time do you have?” They was an agenda in front of you all times because as nice as your guest is, I know their busy.
If I’m just yapping and just gathering about nothing. All of a sudden, I appeared that I’m wasting time. What’s that do to my credibility? This is an equilateral triangle. It doesn’t have a start and an end. It doesn’t have a one, two or three. They’re all equally important because I can do as much damage as if I’m wasting people’s time. As I said, time is important. Credibility is a level of trust that gets established. We got to show that we trust.
Show A Level Of Understanding To The Buyer
In most businesses, you got to show a level of understanding that you understand the buyer. I’ve heard it said many times and I’ve said it many times, “You should have ten times more about your product or service than you’ve ever need.” I was talking to some folks and I said, “Where’d you work before this?” Somebody said, “I want to Gemini.” I think it was Gemini or something like that. I was sitting there going, “You probably know how to sell against that. Know your competition. Who cares? I’m sure a lot of them know you.”
There’s an implication to every move. It’s not blast from us that I bring up a competitor. I would know about them and I would know how to sell against them. We know how to sell against our competitors. I know how to sell against Sandler Sales. You should know that and you shouldn’t even need to attack them. You should just know how to sell against them. That’s different. You look bad when you attack the competition. You should never do that. It’s not a good look. At least from what I’m seeing in this business.
You look bad when you attack the competition.
You guys are way more classy than anything like that and how you present yourself. You don’t need to do that, but you should know well enough. You should have an understanding. It’s like that mindset of art. You should understand how people buy from you and you should understand why they don’t buy from you. Everybody has an Achilles heel. Don’t try and hide it. I’ve heard it several times and I hope this isn’t a sore point. I heard they don’t get private rooms. I don’t know if that’s in every case. Maybe that’s your business model. I’m not here to judge.
I wouldn’t be waiting for the end for it come up. Some of you probably wait till the end. If it becomes all about that, I would be leaning in early. I’d be selling it as a benefit because I bet there’s a benefit to it, too. It’s not a loneliness thing. I could think about fifteen things. They probably don’t even spend that much time in the room anyway. Lean into what you do. Show a level of understanding. Those three things can equal a lot about our balance. It’s the very foundation of selling. It starts there. These triangles are all controls by you. That’s why I shy away from the word relationship, because if you’re doing this well, that becomes the outcome. These are things that are actionable.
Important Links
- Lance Tyson on LinkedIn
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- Lance Tyson on X
- Check out Tyson Group’s Open Enrollment Programs
- The Human Sales Factor
- Selling is an Away Game
- Download our Playbooks
- Schedule a call with one of Tyson Group’s member
- Subscribe to our Newsletter
